They say a family would run smooth only if the woman in the family knows to manage well. So I set off to find out how wives are expected to balance the string of family lives.
“For that you need to be a balanced-wife“, says a few. So what is a balanced wife?
If the wife gets up early in the morning, she “always runs away from the bed and puts him in second priority to the house hold”. If the wife doesn’t get up early, she “is too lazy and neglects the family”.
If the wife makes good tea, “it is just her routine”. If the wife doesn’t make good tea or breakfast for one day, she “is a bad cook”.
If the wife has to leave home early for work, she “doesn’t need to earn us a living. Family should be first”. If the wife goes late to work or comes back late from work, she “is a bad manager of time”. If the wife comes back early from work, she “has no big role there at office”.
If the wife buys a shirt for the husband from her salary, she “wastes a lot of money on dress”.
If the wife doesn’t like a dress that her in-laws choose, she “has no dressing sense”.
If the wife reminds you to pay the bill, “I know to do things”. If the payment goes beyond due date, “You should not have forgotten”.
If the wife asks for help in the kitchen, “it is your duty. If you can’t manage with just two of us, how will you manage when we have children?”
If the wife has a back pain and asks for a small massage, “Can’t u see that am busy?”
If the wife argues, she is arrogant. If she does not respond to an argument, she is irritating.
If she questions, she acts too smart.
If she cries, she is over-sentimental. If she cant tell why she did so, she is unreasonable
If the shirt is not ironed on time, “she doesn’t know to do things properly”.
If the clothes are not folded for a day, “she cant keep the house clean”.
If the children get low grades, “she is doesn’t take proper care”.
If her parents does not see his’ during a function, then “they purposefully avoided”. If his parents do the same, “Why should they go to her parents? It is they who should come and pay respect to the guys’?
If her parents give a visit without acknowledgement, “they are so informal”. If his parents do the same but unfortunately there is no one at her home, “they don’t give us importance”.
If her mother’s sister’s daughter’s in-law is getting married, not only his parents, but his father’s sister’s husband’s parents have also to be invited, else “they do not know to treat the guy’s family properly”.
This society who knows only to question, disdain & contempt the girls, wives, daughter-in-laws & mothers and believes that women and her needs could be neglected, compels me to derive at the conclusion that the expectation from the so called balanced wife is this..One who successfully takes care of the family (big or small) the way they want, attend to all their needs, satisfy all of them, follow their rules, be answerable to all their questions, be submissive throughout and accept any mental or physical piercing moment in silence…. Irrespective of whether she slept the previous night, Irrespective of whether she had something for tea, Irrespective of when she has to leave or come back from work, Irrespective of how her day at office was, Irrespective of whether she is healthy or not, Irrespective of whether she is respected or cared for, Irrespective of what she earns, Irrespective of whether her own life is balanced or not….
PRECISELY, A BALANCED WIFE IS ONE WHO IS AWARE OF THE RIGHTS OF THE HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY. A BALANCED WIFE SHOULD ALSO BE AWARE OF THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE WIFE AND HER FAMILY.
Huh!!
When will be the time when they lay rules for the men?
When will be the time when they stop blaming and start helping?
When will be the time when they learn that respect is give and take?
When will be the time when they learn to appreciate wives and mothers for what they do?
When will be the time when they learn that a smooth family is the result of teamwork?
When will be the time when they learn that women have to be treated like humans if not equals?
Zoulful Inks 
Perfectly said Zaira..I have thought about these matters a million times..
Most of the in-laws and husbands never think that their daughter/sister is in the same situation.
Just because we got married doesn’t mean that one fine morning our parents are nothing to us.
I feel that most of women ignore or hide their hard feelings only to avoid issues with the husband.
Yes,they ignore,hide and never disclose. And in some cases they are even denied the right to cry out loud…
Certain other cases were they took the courage to confide to their husbands, the men took it to their parents, and the result???hmmm…
!!!!!Well said…will keep these things in mind…when i start SHARING responsibilities
Good Anto.. Not only when u start sharing responsibilities, but also start recognising her rights :-))) Gud luck!!
Respect can only be given in return of respect,not in return of obedience or compliance etc. And responsibilities without rights are exploitation.
Thanks for dropping in IHM. I sometimes feel it is women whoo should change first. They try to manage everything on their own and finds satisfaction in being obedient.
Hi!
Followed IHM.
…it is women whoo should change first. They try to manage everything on their own and finds satisfaction in being obedient.
The problem is with men, women changing will not help much change is required in both.
There is so much premium placed on getting married and remaining married for women that women are bound to do back flips. Also the ideal type of an ideal woman is that of ideal in all her relationships. It is like chasing a carrot on the stick, no matter how hard one tries they can never reach it.
The only ideal type for me is that of provider and financial supporter. That is lot easier to manage.
It is time marriages were considered either obselete or altered for good. And women started considering them selves as humans. Unless women start asking their due no one is going to serve them on the platter.
Peace,
Desi Girl
Thanks for giving your opinion. I agree with you. Change needs to be implemented on both ends.
“Unless women start asking their due no one is going to serve them on the platter” – This is what I meant by women need to change.. Thanks for putting this more appropriately for me 🙂
I hope you got my comment…
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Wow!!Thank you so much. Am happy if it has helped you learn something.
The theme that I use is Beuno. It is available in WordPress Theme. Pls let me know if you want to know more
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I obtain a lot in your subject really thanks very much
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Really informative blog post here my friend. I just wanted to comment & say keep up the quality work. I’ve bookmarked your blog just now and I’ll be back to read more in the future my friend! Also well-chosen colors on the theme it goes well with the blog in my modest opinion 🙂
Awesome information, many thanks to the article writer. It’s understandable to me now, the effectiveness and importance is mind-boggling. Thank you once again and good luck!
This is a realistic reflection of the expectaions from a majority of Indian women. And I believe that the only way we can change is is by keeping the conversations going – repeatedly. Just never letting it die down.
Someone once told me that life in India is a little like living next to a dirty sewer. You get used to the smell after a while that you are no longer aware of it.
Unless women and men keep raising these issues, politely and maturely and logically, we cannot hope for change. If we can manage to change any one of these things, that will make a difference.
WOW! Spot on… Found your blog thru IHM. This is what is being experienced by millions of Indian DILS. Although you missed one important thins. If any woman ever questions this then she’s branded as an uncultured, disrespectful, arrrogant woman and her parents and family are blamed as well.
Thanks DW. And yes, u hv a very good point
Beautiful article Zradar… Very well said.. !!
Great to know you liked it.