30 and old????Naaa….


Remember Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S?He had a pact with god that he wouldn’t turn thirty.. 🙂

But 30 and old? Naaaa,Not anymore.. Well, 30 doesn’t look that old as I thought it would be. I just crossed that milestone and now I do not have worry about reaching 30 anymore…,

During college days, people who crossed 30 were looked upon as matured and grown up adults. OK..So I do not have to wait to be matured anymore 🙂 People normally do not agree that I am one..

A friend mentioned that am ageing gracefully.So I just went back to those old snaps with him (more than a decade old),compared it with recent ones,and yes, I do look a lot better…

This epic birthday was one of the most wonderful days I ever had, or even thought I would have – Desert Safari, dune bashing, sand boarding (which I was terrible at) and just when I thought it coudnt get any better, she calls me on stage for a few minutes of belly dance.Turning 30 was fun. And who cares?Life is just the same,just like any other day.Afterall, 29 and 30 has just 1 year between them. So not that old am I 🙂 And if turning older can only bring me more birthdays like this.Then why worry?

Recently read that 30’s is the new 20’s. And 40’s is the new 30’s. So I still have TEN more years to reach there 🙂

The real fun is to see people drop their jaws when I say I am 30.So I talk my year out. While I enrolled for the driving lessons they were surprised to hear am married,even more surprised that I have a baby,totally wild when they knew she would be 2 soon,and couldnt help but be delirious when I wrote my age down. I absolutely, thoroughly, entirely, enjoyed the whole show and walked out of the institution wholeheartedly because I just turned 30. Yaaaay!!!!

Bro said that he was all bored seeing me in 20’s for last 10 yrs. Makes sense 🙂 And why not get prepared for the adventures of the next 10 years, 40 being the next milestone..The last 30 yrs did give you enough lessons to learn,so why not practice what you learned from?I am now officially grown up to advise juniors about my experiences of the past and write a book/blog on what i learnt in all these yrs 🙂

I love Pierce Brosnan when he said ” To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring”… Another blog reads, “Now that I am 30,I can date women who are 40 and their daughters who are 20”. Sounds great..30 does add spice to life 😉 😉

Life has been good so far,and it can only be better in the years ahead. So getting old means getting BOLD.Wishing all who are 30 or more –  fantastic, fun filled years ahead. 30 something is not that big deal.Be grateful that you have had 30 yrs of life and god bless,we will live longer to see more of what we call LIFE..Its time to give yourself some more love and be who you are…

Oh!People in their 30’s needs to be relaxed.Why not a spa? Husband too agrees.  🙂 🙂 So old is gold.Wait!!Gone is gold,coming is Platinum.Please try hard and smile if you can.There I tried a poor PJ 😐

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When believing is seeing,….


I have no picture as to how to start or end this topic, but Krishna Murugan’s questions had to be answered. Religion, Faith, God,.. Krishna, my colleague, argued about the existence and truth of everything.

Here are his ‘W’s on God… Let  me try to answer them in my version.

Q. Why believe in a man-made religion?

A. Religion is man made. The wise men of yester years had to form a set of rules to stop the chaos in the society and cultivate polished humans for tomorrow. But every religion has a common concept and that is ‘G-O-D’. It is not religion that people believe in, but its god.

Q. Why do you pray?

A. People may have a lot of reasons to pray. It may be to thank god for the food, for helping them pass exams, for the well being of themselves and their loved ones, and lot more..

For me, prayer is the bond between me and god. He, to whom, I can communicate about anything and everything. For am sure, he will be with all his ears to stop my tears. This bond always helped me sharpen my confidence and above all, helped me to attain peace of mind..

Q. Where is god when we are sad?

A. In this busy world where maintaining work-life balance is difficult, god is crowded out of our minds. It is when sadness strikes that we run to god for help. So on a positive note, sadness is a way to spend time with god.

But if your questions is about tragedies like earth quake or tsunami, then let me tell you that god has different plans for each of us. Havent you read about people who saved others’ life putting theirs’ at risk. Do you not feel that you would have also helped the needy, if you a got a chance to? Sometimes to show the existence of goodness in others, to reveal the existence of selfless people on earth, to plant that element of goodness in you or to wake up the real human in you, god too will have to take some extreme steps.

Q. Why terrorism when god exists?

A. When he created man, he also gave us freedom of choice and freedom of thought. Had he created man without choice, we would all be forced to believe in him. But god wanted us to learn, think and then choose between right and wrong. He wanted not blind faith, but know him and then believe.

The same message is interpreted by different people differently, and so is conveyed differently. What is wrong for the world, may be right to some people. They are not made different, but they chose to be different. Let the almighty forgive the wrong doers.

Q. Why god is not proven scientifically?

A. This one is the toughest of all.

While doing some research on Islam, I have come across this beautiful statement – “Science is not mature enough to prove the existence of god”.

So let me reframe this question. How did god touch our lives today? It may a help from a stranger, a greeting from your nieghbour or a call from your long lost friend that helps you move on in life. Like Bhavia mentioned in “Any Help”, she helped two girls for no reason. After a tiring day at work, Fareiba’s smile still become an inspiration to go ahead. God shows his presence in our daily lives, in a variety of ways. Some refer to it as luck, but I would prefer to call it his help.

Yes Krishna, You are right. People need to be humans at heart first and then true believers of god. Only then will the purpose be served and only then will there be peace. So being a good human being, you are already one step closer to him. Take the next step and see how life changes.

You may still continue to look for facts because for you, seeing is believing. But for me believing is seeing…

 

The long 9 months…


While hurrying through my closet for Pari’s vaccination card, I came across her first Ultrasound scan report. Taken on 7th Jul 2009, the report read, “The uterus was visualised and contained a single intrauterine gestational sac with fetal pole measuring 0.64cm corresponding to 7 weeks gestation”, which meant my has been medically confirmed. It meant that there was a teeny tiny life inside me, who was 7 weeks old and 0.64cms long….

I took the report and sat on one corner of the bed.. Pari was sleeping sound on the other end. I tried to recollect the 9 months that we waited eagerly and restlessly to see the first glimpse of this little girl.

Jun ‘09: The home pregnancy tests were positive on 3rd week of Jun. But accuracy was only 50%.

Jul ‘09: On Jul 7, doctor added the rest 50% and both of us  held our hands tightly to witness the most beautiful phenomenon. Inside my uterus was our little one, with a rapid heart beat (twice the rate of a normal adult) and a small food sack for her nutrition supply. Doc asked me to include 2 lts of milk, 1 egg and 1 cup of pulse in my daily diet. Milk and egg. Grrrr!!!

God is great!! He had another pleasant surprise in store. One of my best friends, Sheetal had confirmed pregnant too.

In another weeks time, my sickness started. Anything that went inside would come out in a minute or two.

Aug ’09: Sickness continued for the first 2 weeks of Aug. I managed to stick on to the milk which had now reduced to 2 cups a day :0)

Work was getting onto my nerves. In addition there was an immediate requirement offshore. Some good things happen at the wrong time also 🙂 There was too much of pressure to fly that finally I had to disclose the reason.

“There is a good news and a bad news for you, Mugundan”. My project manager got ready to face both the news’. “Good news is that I am carrying, and the bad news is that, I would not be able to fly for the same reason”.

The first trimester scan was full of excitement. The baby was in shape, kept moving throughout the scan but did not show the face

By the last week of Aug, I regained my health. Sickness subsided and I started walking on the evenings.

As you gain weight during the later stages of pregnancy, the circulation to your legs decreases, and hence walking helps.

Sep ’09: I got busy deciding on our Anniversary gift. Our second anniversary fell on Sep 9th. It was special this time 09-09-09 🙂 I was clueless and finally got a ring. As usual, my gift got dissolved in the beautiful jewel set Sayf got for me from Narayana Pearls. He is too good with gifts.

By Sep,I had put on 2 kgs. My belly had slightly grown and I could feel the slight movements inside, as though a feather moved from within.…

Oct ’09: My stomach had come out, dresses got tight, Pari kicked harder, still October was adventurous.

Being 5 months pregnant, I had a 12  in without a berth,not even a seat. Sayf’s parents had plans to go for Hajj, but the dates were fixed suddenly. We had to go home, see them off, but no tickets to travel. Everyone had asked me to stay back, but I wanted to meet my ‘N’ laws before they started for the pilgrimage.

We came back to Chennai the next day itself. The second trimester scan showed a fully developed baby. She had her head, neck, spine, heart, lungs and stomach fully developed.

We travelled to Bangalore the very next weekend to meet Sheetal. Bangalore was major fun. We showed off our reports, examined the profiles of our babies, found that one had bigger nose and compared their weights.

Nov ’09: Second trimester was cool. No sickness and a Not-so-heavy-stomach. Sayf’s bday fell on Nov 14th. I brought a scrap-book, scribbled a few poems and pasted photos of the most important moments in the past 2 yrs. Sayf loved the book.

Pari had started rolling inside. At times, she would do a roller coaster ride. Sayf could feel her too.

Dec ’09: Belly had grown really big. I weighed 58 kgs and had started experiencing breathlessness. No clothes would fit anymore, and one more month for my maternity leave to begin. Too much of pressure was there at work, and it affected my regular walking. Back pain started and then came the varicose veins.

Sayf was behind me to know on my pregnancy craving. Honestly, I had none.

Pari started weighing heavier and kicked harder that you could see the shape of your stomach changing. She kept me awake during the nights. On a positive note, she trained me to stay awake which proved helpful during post pregnancy 🙂

We had started googling for a nice muslim name.

Jan ’10: Then came my birthday on Jan 9th. Sayf had a range of surprises for the whole weekend – Movie, Mahabalipuram, dinner. .

One more week at work. Staying away from Sayf was painful, but I still was excited about the 7 months vacation, I would get after I started working on 2003. While packing my stuffs, I came across a 2 yr old Anchor Stitch Kit that was left half way through. I packed that too.

I experienced the freedom of being at home after long(6yrs).It was immense pleasure to be a child again. Wake up and sleep as you wish, and worry only about eating 🙂 and watching TV ofcourse!! I also tried to work on the Stitch Kit and immersed in books on labour and birth.

I weighed 60kgs and increased 3kgs every 2 weeks. Breathlessness became heavier, so resumed walking. Luckily, I had Sheetal to share everything with 🙂

Feb ’10: My false contractions and pseudo pain began. Feets and ankles were swollen. My doc examined to confirm that babies head was not fixed. Amma made a list, packed the bags and did the last- minute shopping.

Sheetal had a bleeding and was kept on observation for a day. Doc sent her back the next day, but she had started dilating, and delivery was expected anytime.

I kept on working with my stitch kit, tried some breathing exercises, read more books on what to expect during labour. However, I was running out of room. It was a pregnant forever feeling. Sheetal was admitted for the second time after a heavy bleeding, but Pari seemed to be too comfortable inside 🙂 She showed no signs to come out.

Feb 17,2010: I was due on Feb 25th as per the records, but on Feb 17th 4:00am, my water broke. Hospital was just 15minutes away from home. I dropped an sms to Sayf and prayed for a healthy baby when I stepped inside the hospital. The nurses tried their best to answer my curiosity and induced pain by 05:30am. The contractions started slowly, like mild cramps on the stomach. I tried the breathing techniques that I read. But as the labour progressed, the contractions became powerful, longer and frequent. The doc confirmed that am in the second stage of labour. They moved me to the labour room and I pushed the baby out into this world on Feb17, 09:48am.

While the doc was working on my stitches, I could hear the nurses talk ”Normal baby, 2.8kgs, 50cms”.

 

“Girl baby”, she handed over the little one to me. Wrapped all over, Fareiba looked like a small bundle of cloth. I couldn’t take my eyes of that small, brittle, lovable creation of god. She looked exactly like the man whom I admired the most – Sayf. I realized the value of this little creature god has handed over to me, that I cannot give Sayf a gift more valuable than her…

Sheetal gave birth after another 2 days. They have named their daughter Shrishti.

I finished my Stitch Kit two months after the delivery.

Difference between owning a license and owning a vehicle


When Pari fell sick last week, I had to take her to the doc every other day. She recovered fully after a week’s time. Hospital was just 4 kms from home, but it would have been terrible if I did not know to drive. So while coming back from the hospital, I thanked god and the two men who insisted me to start driving and keep driving..

Umpteen women own a driver’s license but do not drive. I too belonged to this group, but not anymore…

It was in my father’s  interest that me and my brother started driving. I even took license the very next saturday after I turned 18. But I hardly drove a few kms at my hometown. Being younger to me by 2 yrs, my bro took license soon as he turned 18, and he offered a ride when needed.

After I moved to Chennai for a job, the city’s heavy traffic  was the primary reason for not driving. When my brother joined me at Chennai , I happily took his help to travel.

Post marriage was even easier. With my husband, one of the greatest drivers I have met, anytime-anywhere-pick& drop was readily available. So being a license holder for over 10 yrs, I managed to reach anywhere I wanted to (sometimes after fighting with auto drivers), but still did not try driving.

My office was just 2 kms from where we stayed. So during my pregnancy, Sayf  wanted me to start driving  since I could come home as and when needed. Somehow it  did not work. But after Pari (Our rolly-polly-naughty-sweety and now 8 month old, lil princess) came in, driving became necessary. With a day care at my office, there was no option than to bring her along, drop her at daycare and start with my office.  I was still reluctant, but Sayf was behind my life 🙂 After my test-driving-sessions with Sayf, I started taking Pari to office.

Today, with my husband at Dubai, managing work,home and the baby has become really difficult. Needless to mention, my car has become one of my most reliable friends in no time. And I realise that driving is essential. Its been just a month since he left, and my car has (unbelievable) run over 600 kms. It was actually meant to run only 2 kms to and from office everyday.. 🙂

Now, I take my car for grocery,market,shopping,work,parlour,anything and everything.

Now, I pick my parents from Chennai Central (25kms from home) and go to T.Nagar (one of the busiest places in Chennai city)for shopping. Chennai traffic doesn’t seem to be a problem anymore 🙂

Now, I give lifts to the mothers who needs to pick up their babies from daycare and also to fellow male colleagues who wants to be dropped at bus/railway stations.

And if I can, all of you can…

When license and driving go parallel, we do not realise how handicapped we are. Only when you start and sense the tremendous volume of independence it gives you, do you realise what you were missing earlier. You actually own your vehicle only when you start driving.

Now I know what is carburetor, slow speed, mileage,piston rings,coolant and much more. Above all of this, I know that driving has made my life a lot simpler.

Today, I am an ‘independent’ working woman, and behind the success of this independence there are two men – My father and My Sayf 🙂

Driving now means a lot of freedom, independence, excitement, adventure, happiness and satisfaction. Its worth giving a try.

So next time you need to go somewhere, no more quarrels with auto drivers and no more waiting for someone to pick you up.  Get ready, a smear of face powder, a dash of lipstick and vrrrroooom… Go Babelicious gals!!!