World is scary, ain’t it?

I feel secured with my husband who loves me,… But what about the husbands who abandoned/killed the female children when they were born? After the female foeticide that crossed 2 million from last 3 decades, husbands in Indian villages have decided to share their wives.

I have parents who would stand beside me, but what about this girl whose father sold her for drinks and money?

I have neighbors who come to help when needed, but what about the neighbors who took advantage of the insecurity of girls’ in rich families and hardships of the girls’ in the poor families? They do not take protection to prevent aids, but use teenagers instead.

I have friends who would hold onto me forever, but what about the girl who was raped by her friends on friendship day?

I had teachers whom we respected and are still in touch with (even after 15 yrs), but what about this 7 yr old who was stripped in class for not doing her homework? 

I have lived in a city where I grew up safe, but what about this mother and daughter who were striped in public when she resisted two men taking away her 16 yr old daughter?

I have relatives who may not be in good terms with us, but that never took to the extend of them abusing us.

I have had bad experiences/arguments with my colleagues, but the boundary was maintained at a professional level.

I have to thank my family for the freedom they have given me, the knowledge they have shared with me. I have to thank allah for he always had his eyes on me. I may have had a normal and safe life, but what is the guarantee my daughter will have the same?

Back then, when I grew up, the world was just the same. All kinds of threat existed for women. Late night movies, dine outs, boy friends, pubs, beaches, tuitions, local trains, buses – it could have happened anywhere, even right in the middle of the road and in bright day light. The public support would however be zero. Some wouldn’t dare to, some wouldn’t care to. Remember Keenan Santos?.

But back then, I was little aware of the world around. If I knew about Junko Furuta, I doubt if I would have worked late at office or gone out with a colleague. An understanding of her suffering is impossible.

Now that I know how scary the world is, I realize it can only become more dangerous when daughter is grown up. Am sure I woudn’t have any peace of mind until she is back home, safe.

Problem is how to create the awareness properly? How to balance the awareness education and her boldness/confidence that she wouldn’t be scared to step out of home next time?

We can teach her self defense, but presence of mind is more important in practical cases. Where can I get that from?

We may able to show her how a healthy relationship should be, but would she confide if she is not involved in one?

We may create a pleasant environment at home, but how to make her open up without giving her the feeling that we are interfering too much?

How to give her the confidence that we, being her parents, would be alert and accountable, for we are afraid of this inexplicable the world thats waiting for our little one?

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12 thoughts on “World is scary, ain’t it?

  1. I think bringing them up by teaching the pit falls can help a bit.When I was in 9th std there was a news about sex rackets targeting school girls.I remember my Dad and Mom talking with my bro and I how bad things could be.They warned us never to befriend with strangers.My parents knew all of our friends and their families too.Remember my post about me slapping a guy in the bus stop..I have slapped a relative of mine that too in front of a 200 relatives when he grabbed my hands after getting drunk..and you know my parents stood like a wall supporting me when others talked bad about my guts..and the nest thing was their love..we got ample love and freedom that we never had to hide anything from them;even our high school crushes..I THINK LOVE FROM FAMILY MATTERS..we cannot go and make the outside world good..all we can do is to make our kids attached and close to us..that will give strength to them to respond to any bad situations.

    • Family support does matter, but am worried whether the next gen children will stay within our reach. They are only becoming unimaginably and unpredictably chaotic. Keeping our shrude eyes and mind around them without giving them the feel of restricting their freedom, would be one way. But thats possible only when they are young. Once they grow up, they would fly too high that we would have to believe and accept what they say until they saw visible signs… But right now, on a positive note, we can believe that our love,support and prayers help them get through all hurdles…Fingers crossed for Pari and the rest!!

  2. you say scary its VERY SCARY..
    basically the basic values are lost .. one day we will hear a man did this to his own sister or mother .. that day is not far away …

    How to get over this WELL how can we .. we cant change the world its becoming bad .. the only way is to make sure people dont get away when caught, kill them shoot them whatever whoever they are

    also we have gotten used to it all, earler any such incident and the whole TOWN knew about it and the whole family would be castrated.. not anymore the next door neighbour does not bother ..

    also these days choose friends dont trust everyone …

    • All my studies – school,college,Engg. – everything was in this small town called Kochi (Kerala). I knew almost everyone in the locality and viceversa. And the moment I come to the town (if it is strike in college), the report would go to amma. And cos I knew there were eyes around me, before I even ste out of college, I wud inform amma. I couldnt lie (there wasnt any need to), cos I was sure to be caught, for we were sure to meet smone on the way.. But here in Dubai or for that matter when we were in Chennai, there was only 1 nieghbour who we knew. Hardly knew what her children and husband did though.. So even if Pari gets into trouble and need to call for any help (just incase both our mobiles are busy for some reason), who would she call next? The bonding with society does matter (as u mentioned).
      We have all shrunk into a small family of our own and calls it our world. The world remains happy and we remain satisfied until the real need arises. Scary again!!
      And Bikram, the day has already come – father raping daughters, brother kikking mother, even small children are not innocent anymore. Read this post – http://heyithinkthisway.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/in-search-of-some-innocence/ . This is the essence of the news that came from a mallu newspaper. Scary again!!

      • yes but you need to make pari socially aware , Talk to her all the time ,, she needs to be comfortable to tell you everything ..

        but if all mobiles are not working ..BUT THAT day will never come … GOd is great ..
        She will make good friends ..
        it will be fine dont worry

        and any trouble send me a email I will come over to there and Beat the ___ out of anyone troubling 🙂

        the news indeed its scary

    • Thanks for putting in your thoughts Roopa.. If each parent remains accountable for their children’s actions right from the very beginning, things may have been different.. Now that things have gone beyond our hands, correcting everyone is not possible. Creating awareness can reduce to an extend may be…

  3. A good article indeed, particularly in the context of continued custom in some parts of India of treating daughters as a burden to the family and the new wave of modernism sweeping through Indian cities, without knowing the dangers associated with it. Educating parents and children of hidden dangers and work towards a welfare society are key to eradicating some of the evils, I think. No one should feel that they should silently suffer; each attrocity should be brought to the public; no system is beyond the will of the people. So, article of this nature should be distributed as widely as possible to intiate the debate, if it has not yet started, or to contribute to existing debate.

    • I think lot of awareness is spread across, but the reach of these kind of articles are limited that the mentality of most people remain the same.. But hope still lingers on, that one day India will be become a free nation where women could go out without fear even in the middle of the night.. Fingers Crossed!!
      Thanks a lot for taking your time to read and reply..This is a great encouragement.I mean it..

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