Culture & Religion, Marriage & Motherhood, My thoughts & Interests

Fair is Beautiful

After Pari was born, I called up our relatives to share the launch of a baby girl into our family.
Aunty, we have a baby girl now”.
Congrats. So how fair is she? Fairer than you? As fair as Sayf?”

They did not bother to as about my health or the baby’s. They did not want to know how the labor went. They did not care to ask whether Sayf saw the baby or how are things at the hospital or at least what we have named her or at the least who she looks like. But ‘being fair’ was important.

Oh yes!! I have seen a lot of this. I am a victim of tanned skin, and this was one of the primary reasons for my delayed marriage. My education, qualification, job or salary did not matter, nor my character  or family background or personality mattered. All that mattered was fairness?!?!?!? Actually I have found darker people than me, but men saw only people who are fairer than me 🙂 :).

And when a ‘fairer’ Sayf fell for a ‘darker’ me, my mother showed her first sign of relief, “I’m happy that at least your children will be fairer”. What??!?!?

This is not just my case. ‘Dark skinned girls’ are considered ugly.

Back in high school, when a fair girl was befriended by a darker one, the guys referred them as Beast and the Beautiful. With great pain and effort, our friend’s circle made it ‘Bold and the Beautiful’. What people do not realize is that these harsh comments hurt their fathoms deepest emotions and sometimes become a reason to lose their self confidence.How unfair!!

How much ever I argue, degree of fairness is very important in India. For the same reason, skin lightening agents and fairness creams have gained huge popularity in Indian markets.

“When complexion gives you a headache and then plants seeds of jealousy and depression,it was Kajol who came to rescue me.She taught me that fair skin and threaded eyebrows are not necessary for being beautiful.It is the cleanliness of your mind and your energy level that makes you look beautiful”,Bhavia mentions about Kajol in 5 women I like.

Kajol and Nanditha Das are my favorite’s too. They are talented actors and very beautiful than a lot of other fair skinned heroines.They are towards the darker tone, but still have a huge adulation and fan following. It’s the same man-crowd who reject dark-skinned females, when it comes to wedding. So reel life can have black beauties while real life can’t?

And why doesn’t a man get rejected during a marriage proposal for being dark? Is it because the girl and her family are more sensible? Or is it the man’s job and woman’s fairness that together leads to a successful married life?

Fairness is closely related only to women, esp. Indian women. As usual, here is another inequality our dear society has shown to women on this line. They call men dark and handsome, but women can be beautiful only if they are fair.

On another note, have a look at the definition and Antonym of ‘fair’ in thesaurus. No comments!!!

12 thoughts on “Fair is Beautiful”

  1. spot on! in india skin color has much importance. these days even men are trying be fair. seen that ad where a movie star is selling a mens fairness cream?

  2. It is so annoying, isn’t it? I was advised to eat apples when I was pregnant – to have a fairer child. I told them that I have no preference when it comes to the colour. And like you, one of the first things that people asked my husband after our daughter was born was whether she was ‘fair’ or ‘dark’!

    Our society is so fixated on this fairness thing!

  3. People are obsessed….even though the british left India, some people still consider them as their role models..their skin..their hair colour…their accent….what not..they think that looking like their MASTERS make them beautiful..the slave complex….what a pity !!!

  4. this post is a true reflection of the indian mindset, north or south , situation is the same.

    i personally find dusky girls very graceful and hot!! i mean look at naomi campbell….!

    another great post dear friend…!

    following your blog, do follow mine…!

  5. That was a very intriguing post.
    It truly shows the typical narrow minded nature of Indian people.
    Though the majority follow this trend, there are many people who are becomingly indifferent to “fairness”.
    Princess Jasmine is considered to be the most beautiful Disney princess and I know for a fact how desperate the Western people are to get a “sexy suntan”

    I am a Bengali and am kind of dark toned too and thankfully I have never had any qualms against it. I love my honey-skin-tone and although I don’t want to sound like a pompous prick, but here I would definitely want to mention that I was Miss Freshers’ of my college (NIT Bhopal) and I have a pretty good idea about my popularity within the campus and out (which can be really annoying many a time).

    Not for ANYTHING would I want to become even a tad bit fairer!

    1. Thanks for the message.. Just thought I would share my experiences..And happy that you have a crowd who believes in the beauty of inside than outside

  6. Sad State of affairs. I had similar experiences too. For I am wheatish complexioned girl. Whole world is like that. Why are fairness creams so famous?
    At least kids should be spared.Some people never grow up.

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